Welcome to our little space on the net! This blog is just about our family life, and began as a way to keep family and friends updated on what was going on with my pregnancy with our first son, Gage. We've since added Evie to our family, and I continue to blog about family life, car seats, spina bifida, and anything else that catches my attention.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
I'm a Spina Bifida Awareness slacker
October is coming to a close and this is the first I've mentioned Spina Bifida Awareness month this year. Shame on me! I was inspired by a friend's blog today (go visit!) and decided I had to stop slacking and get on with the posting.
We were so blessed when I was pregnant with Gage. I didn't really know that until after he was here and I joined the ranks of SB parents, but I fully appreciate it now.
I was with an OB group that I just wasn't clicking with. There was nothing wrong with my doctor, but I just felt the need for a change. Just before I solidified this decision, I had the Quad Screen. I got a call from my doctor a few days later (REALLY weird) and she told me that mine was "positive" but didn't say for what, and that she was sending me to a specialist in Little Rock. I had convinced myself at this point that it was a false positive, as is common with these tests, and that everything would still be okay.
Before we even went to the specialist appointment, I requested my medical records be sent to my new doctor, Dr. Richard Wyatt, in Little Rock.
We had the specialist appointment, which was brutal, and confirmed a spina bifida diagnosis, as well as revealing that my baby was a boy: Gage Anthony. I believe it was later that week, or maybe the next week that I had my first appointment with Dr. Wyatt. My old clinic had not sent my records, and he had not yet received the full report from the specialist. I was basically unknown to him.
He sat down across from us in the exam room and listened. And listened some more. He made a call to the specialist, who sent his report right over. He asked to pray with us, which we accepted. He told us that he hadn't had any other moms carrying babies with SB, but that he would learn. He kind of mentioned termination, but it was clear that he didn't support that, and wouldn't recommend we pursue it. The specialist had also mentioned it, but didn't recommend, push, or even mention it again after we let him know that termination was not an option.
This is not the experience of many parents who get the same diagnosis. I have read countless accounts of parents being made to believe that their child will be a vegetable: unable to move, learn, interact with his or her environment, eat, love...They are made to believe that the humane option is to end the existence of this pitiful, worthless being. They mourn the loss of the child, believing that having him or her will be cruel and impossible. I am so thankful for those who find support and stories of wonderful kids and adults who happen to have spina bifida. I mourn for those who do not, and believe the lies they are told.
Those babies and parents are the reason I advocate for spina bifida awareness. I don't need you to send money, or have a fund-raiser. I just need to you tell people about Gage, and Dryden, and Caleb, and Madi, and "Lil Bit", and any other kid with SB that you know. They're awesome in their own ways. They have WORTH, and they LOVE and they ACCOMPLISH things. They bring JOY to their families and those around them. NOBODY would be better off if they had not been born.
Posted by Jessica at 7:55 PM